Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
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