If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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