What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i think i just lost a toe
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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