there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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