your parents love me but you hate me
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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