Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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