i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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