Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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