How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
