For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
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