I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
