would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
