She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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