i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just high enough for therapy.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
