you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
