I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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