I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
