I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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