I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
my poor anus
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
