Don't make out with my wife yet
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my being single is dangerous.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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