When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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