Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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