I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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