we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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