I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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