24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
