I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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