Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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