I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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