I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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