just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
