Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
