i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
