you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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