i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
