I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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