I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
