So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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