youre lurking in front of me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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