Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I would fuck him just for his dog
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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