I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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