Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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