love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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