my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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