I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
