I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize
