Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
