so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
