the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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