so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
