you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
