i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
