Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
