Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just google imaged poop.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
