yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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