so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
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I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
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I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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