yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
