I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
