i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
