Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
