Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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