Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
