you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize