Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
